Inspiration
Self-care: A Word to Light Your Way
It is our tradition here in January to contemplate and choose a Word of the Year.
Typically this is something elevated, aspirational, perhaps slightly out of our current reach. A word that inspires us to go further, do more. It’s a very noble impulse! If the impulse is upon you, please do seize it.
(You can find past years’ inspiration here and here and here.)
While we’re in here, I wanted to say a quick word about language altogether. Something I probably don’t say enough, which is that self-care is a really personal topic, and a visceral one.
Sometimes the things I write will resonate, and sometimes … the opposite. So I wanted to just make it explicit, and say if ever you read anything in this column that really chaps your behind? Just substitute your own words.
Example: in considering my own WOTY this January, I noticed that the word “resilience” came up a lot. And that word was triggering the living daylights out of me.
For many folks, resilience is a noble, dignified word. For me, though, it’s kind of … annoying. The image that comes is something like “get knocked down seven times, bounce right back up eight.” Like Bruce Lee or something, only with the addition of a perky smile. Ugh, so wearisome!
There’s something to it though, the way resilience is on our minds. I’m going to guess we all took some beatings in 2024. But it seems to me that what’s even better than bouncing back is being harder to knock down in the first place.
Thus I arrived at my own word this year: toughness.
Never going to be a popular word, probably! Too many negative connotations for folks. It’s like the opposite of Brené Brown’s virtue of vulnerability. Not very aspirational.
But that’s the beauty of choosing your own meaningful guiding word, rather than whatever virtuous suggestion (#selfimprovement) is trending on social media.
When you hear it, it kind of detonates (wow there’s a word! substitute at will!) in your gut and you know it’s right because it sounds your gong, it’s unforgettable and you want to keep it right out in front of you to light your way.
But you know me, I can never have just one Word of the Year haha. My other reminder is “The Basics.” And we should talk about that next time.
This month though, please tell us all your WOTY, and how you arrived at it and how it’s going to light your way in 2025.
And Happy New Year! I am wishing you all peace, love, health, and prosperity!
My WOTY is “forward”
I agree with you on ‘resilience’. I’ve been called that, to salve the consciences of others more than anything else, I think. I may be standing but I’m bruised! My WOTY is authenticity.
That’s my word for EVERY year!
Stretch!
I have two, nourishing and flourishing!! For myself and others!!
They go together beautifully!!
Thank-you for asking!!
That’s excellent. Especially first thing in the morning.
I posted this a short ways back when KAy & Ann & MDK Crew were bouncing around 4 letter words for embellishing sweaters…
I was inspired by a decidedly longer word “Courage” that has a 4-letter word within it. At the time I feared a bit that it was too strong, too contrarian, too combative. I posted it anyways because I also knew that the time would come when it was NOT too strong, contrarian or combative. The time would come when it was NEEDED & sorely.
Now, after a day of listening to a decidedly UNqualified candidate lie and dodge and obfuscate his way with strong-arming backers to a likely lead of our ENTIRE military (notice that **I** can and do spell it correctly??) despite all the many red flags pointing to his unworthiness, I am fully into MY WOTY.
Now, after watching the controlling party in congress maneuver to enact sweeping changes in a manner that WILL be denounced by the House Parliamentarian, changes that are NOT supported by a majority of the voting public and indeed are deeply opposed, but will nonetheless be enacted at least in part, I am FULLY into MY WOTY.
Now, after the release of 1/2 of a report on an extensive investigation into a wide ranging conspiracy to undo the will of the American people and to undo the very foundational bedrock principle of peaceful transfer of power and the undoing of our very very foundational principle that NO PERSON is above the law, Iam FULLY INTO MY WOTY.
It is at the root of so many valuable words that we all can grasp in this time of deep need:
couRAGE
encouRAGE
leveRAGE
outRAGE
fosteRAGE
tutoRAGE
mooRAGE
Yep, my word is RAGE and I plan to march for MLK Jr’s memory on Jan 20.
I plan to have my own kazoo out and buzzing the Imperial March (Vader’s Theme) from Star Wars even if I cannot be there to do it along the inaugural parade route.
I WILL be wearing my pussy hat on Jan 20th wherever I may be I will do it all with
couRAGE
outRAGE
leveRAGE
RAGE
I will NOT stand idly by and watch all of the norms and standards of my beloved country be destroyed without a fight.
Brava!
Amen
To your spot on comments I’ll reply with a four letter word. AMEN! You’ve expressed what so many of us are feeling. Thank you.
Amen, sister! My thoughts exactly. And well said!
Rage Against The Machine has been my head banging music venue since the election results were announced. I hear you, sister. Rage is my word too.
yes, and yes.
Courage, dear heart(s).
Yes oh yes. I’ve heard that depression is anger turned inward.
Time for constructive rage to be front and center
I am with you, Sister! I really like where you go with …RAGE. I was thinking about Feistiness, but that’s too meek for the current zeitgeist. Now I’m thinking King Lear: Rage, rage, against the dying of the light.
Man, I haven’t gone there in an MDK post ever. I hope they let me post.
Sorry, Cindy, the English teacher in me can’t let Shakespeare and King Lear get the credit for Rage, rage against the dying of the light. It’s of much more recent origin in Dylan Thomas’ poem Do not go gentle into that good night. J Diane’s powerful message hits home for me too – cheering you all on from New Zealand!
Dylan Thomas
1914 –
1953
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Brava!
May you be blessed with a wealth of courage! I wish you all the best from across the still friendly and valued international border north of you.
Thank you!
Agreed. Rage on!
Rage on, sister, and you have every right to it!
Yes.
Yes. Yes. Yes.
Thank you!!!
I second that emotion!
If there were I like button I would have jammed my finger pressing it.
YES!!
Thank you! Heartbreaking, but thank you!
Thank you for writing what so many are feeling. Well done!
A great big THANK YOU to J Diane!!!!
100% Yes! Well said.
Thanks Diane. I’d already gotten my pussy hat out. Now I better go find a kazoo!
I so agree!! Well written!
Thanks J Diane, I appreciate your perspective and feel inspired by your WOTY.
New Year’s resolutions are not my thing. Instead I choose a Word of the Year and focus on it throughout the seasons like a touchstone.
My 2025 Word of the Year is…
D•A•R•E
D•A•R•E to rise with purposeful heart
humming drumbeat, springboard start.
D•A•R•E to be wild and unruly,
statuesque, bold, and truly
D•A•R•E to speak truth in these spaces,
pouring light on dark places.
D•A•R•E fiercely and never waver,
standing taller and braver.
D•A•R•E to boost creative foray,
let loose the genie to play.
D•A•R•E to tender the trembling soul,
slake with kindness, make it whole.
This is wonderful. Amen to more truth and light!
Thanks, Michele <3
This is wonderful! Thank you Shari!
Thanks, Ginny! I just received my WOTY on a necklace ordered from a small business on Etsy <3
Love your word and I feel it calling me. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks, Michelle! I’m going to print my D•A•R•E poem on cardstock and keep it in my WIP bags to keep me inspired <3
I think I might reclaim, for 2025, the word DOUBT.
As a small business owner in the era of the personal brand, there is a corrosive and insidious pressure to be certain and clear and to know what you’re doing At All Times. To look ON TOP OF ALL THE THINGS, to have a five year plan, sales targets etc.
I have found it exhausting to try and live up to this. Last year I lost the ability to do the stranded colourwork on which my self-published books and flagship course depend. I also learned I’m autistic and ADHD. This knowledge is amazing but now I have so many questions! It’s clear that aspects of my work need to change, but into what, I do not know.
I have no certainty about what comes next, and feel called to lean kindly into a space of doubtfulness – uncertainty, lack of sureness, not knowing. I hope that moving towards a more curious place with no goals – allowing myself to feel doubt and uncertainty – will open up a new path.
Doesn’t all searching and discovering begin with doubt? And then someone sets out to find out it they CAN climb that mountain or find a cure for a disease. I think you’ve hit upon something here. Doubting can lead us to figuring out how to do things we think we can’t do. Thank you for sharing that and for sharing your journey. I wish you all the best. And if your color work remains an elusive thing, I hope you find something new to replace it and to give you joy.
Felix, I have admired your efforts and abilities since I met you through KnitStars (I love my cowl❣️) and MDK. All that you have accomplished and shared has surely touched many people. Thank you. Hoping your efforts to understand yourself bring you peace of mind, body, spirit!
Such a brave post, Felix. May all be well with you.
My husband calls his autism and ADD his super powers. Some things are easier for him, and some things are harder, I guess like everyone. I find that his superpowers have made our life together ultimately more adventurous and interesting (definitely very challenging at times). His superpowers have made us dive deep into understanding ourselves, and realizing that everyone has an amazing story.
Thank you for replying and for your thoughtful comments.
Learning about my own neurodiversity has really helped me realise how differently we all process information, take in sensory input, organise things and so on. I’ve always been fascinated by that, but reading more about neurodiversity has deepened my respect for it so much. Like you say, it does encourage a deeper dive into “how do I work” / “how do I work with the other people around me”. I’ve discovered some lovely things from talking about that stuff – it sounds like you and your husband have, too. I think that anything that helps us understand ourselves and those we love more deeply can only be a good thing.
Doubt seems to open more doors than self-assurance. I’d be willing to bet that Thomas Edison weighed more heavily on the doubt side. Supporting you in your journey ❤️
Thank you <3
Felix… Felicity… I’m sorry to hear you’ve lost touch (temporarily) with your beloved colourwork. I’m sorry to hear you are living in doubt.
BUT…
I’m glad to hear you’ve got a diagnosis with which to frame and understand and from which to build and grow!
I hope this reframing and rebuilding brings you back to colourwork, *IF* it’s where your heart wants to go. I hope your reframing and rebuilding leads you to greater things that also bring you back to…
Felicity (happiness)… as is the root of your name!
Be well Felix and use your doubt to seek new answers and rebuild new paths forward! Journalling (as I’m SURE you know) is FABulous at helping sort out the tangled threads to find the keys!
<3 <3 <3
Thanks for your lovely comment, you are absolutely right – having a framework and diagnosis for building new things is amazing! The one thing I have no doubt about, is that my KNITSONIK Bullet Journal is gonna be extra specially useful and helpful and there for me this year. “Sort out the tangled threads to find the keys” is exactly right x
yes, DOUBT and RAGE but no to resilience which sounds to me like my existence and rights are constantly being challenged. I was going to go with RESISTANCE but FIGHT is shorter.
LOVE for all that is around me, and a special dose for Felix- sad to hear of this challenge but looking forward to what your amazing mind will imagine, whenever inspiration strikes.
Thank you for the LOVE! I have to say that reading everyone else’s WOTY and all the lovely comments here is just a treat.
RAGE and LOVE and FIGHT and DOUBT – we need them all but isn’t is the best fun sharing them together 🙂
In research, we have a saying, “If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn’t be research”. Embrace the ocean of uncertainty and curiosity. It’s a rich place! Wade right in, the water is fine!
I love that. Thanks for sharing.
My WOTY is “Joy”. On my birthday this year, which is January 2nd, I saw the word “Joy” about five times, everywhere I looked so it seemed. So I would say that word chose me! This was a very high number birthday and I mean to make the most of each and every year. I intend to focus on all the positive things in my life (like beautiful yarn, great friendships, wonderful music and good health) that bring me joy. I wish the same for each of you in this warm community of knitters!
This is just what I needed
I’m so annoyed with “gratitude” I had to write it down.
My word is Fierce. I face challenges that are large and need iron rod backbone to stay steady on the path. I’m fierce. Thank you.
My word is Shadow to remind me not to be a shadow in other people’s lives, but to let the sunshine through for them.
I love this!
My word of the year is BALANCE.
With my Pita ways whichfire up the Vata tendency , I need to find the balance, the homeostasis .
Simplicity…or :relax !and keep it simple and pure
Possibility
GRACE
A friend told me I should allow myself some grace while we were having a cello practice last year. And I have been thinking about this ever since. It seemed the perfect WOTY, relax a bit, and allow myself to say no to the many things I think I must do, and remember ‘I am enough.’
My WOTY this year is Amateur. It evolves from the Latin amator – “lover”. Rather than think of my doings as amateurish or second best, I choose to do things with love, while loving the things I love. Fully embodied Amateur in 2025!
I love this! Let’s all be amateurs!
Well said, J. Diane. I could agree more. Thank you for expressing those thoughts for all of us.
My word is “knit” for it’s multiple of meanings.
My WOTY is adapt
Max, I like your choice TOUGHNESS. And I think you can absolutely be tough and vulnerable at the same time. 2025 is going to have a couple of BIG life changes in store. I can’t be more “ready” for them but that doesn’t mean there will not be spells of panic, worry, anxiety, etc (in other words, life).
My WOTY is LUCKY. After my doctor said “you’re lucky to be alive”, I have been trying to keep it in mind , especially when annoyed and frustrated by what are truly little things.
My word of the year is “connection.” I’ve been mourning the deterioration of friendships lately, and so my focus this year is on shoring up connections with people that are/have been in my life and inviting new relationships.
I like this too.
I love the words people have come up with.
The word that popped into my mind is “Truth”. With contributors on social media spewing whatever nonsense they wish as plausible facts, with media avoiding conflict with the powers that be at the cost factual and unbiased reporting, with political figures blurting out inflammatory statements just to get clicks…I think it is going to be a year that will be difficult to find truth in all that sludge, yet I am never going stop looking for the truth and hope I can find it.
Still thinking on a WOTY and I love these offerings. 2023 brought so many changes for me and some have been difficult yet many new joys too. Uncertainty has been hard so I am thinking of “sure”.
Sure in my Faith.
Sure I can help.
Sure I can help next time but not this time.
Sure of my choice to stay home or to show up.
Sure, I’ve got time for you.
Sure, I need some down time.
Sure, I am outraged and will help!
Sure, I need to look into that first.
Most of these statements circle back around to the great words each of you have mentioned.
Thank you for your inspiration.
About resilience: I read this article on the Art of Manliness website (yes, I know, I’m a woman, but they have lots of interesting stuff) and it goes in depth about why resilience is not always enough. The author created a word, “antifragile”, to describe something that becomes stronger after hardship. I’m thinking I may use antifragile as my WOTY; I had a hard time at work the last 3 or 4 months when my assistant decided to quit, and I didn’t deal with it as well as I would like. Things have settled down some, but it’s likely there will still be changes this year and I want to be better able to handle it mentally.
https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/beyond-sissy-resilience-on-becoming-antifragile/
Confidence.
I like “toughness” — I grew up with four brothers, all of us very close in age. Toughness, indeed.
Thanks to all of you for your words. With HOPE for 2025, and LOVE to Felix.
Hurrah for HOPE – it is everything – and thank you for the love x
As I rush to get out of the house to make it to a meeting on time, I’ve decided my Word(s) of the Year is (are) SLOW DOWN. Yes, in capital letters because for me it’s a very hard thing to do.
Last year’s WOTY was “embodiment” and it really helped me to stay present and grounded for it all, good and bad.
This year my WOTY is “lightness”. Sadly, darkness seems to be all to present in the world right now. I want to approach it with lightness – openness, curiosity and compassion.
Happy New Year everyone.
Mine is COURAGE.
It feels appropriate to my life in so many ways right now.
My word of the year is, “Moving.” As in becoming more active, decluttering, and downsizing.
This one is speaking to me. I like it.
My WOTY is ENDURE.
This year promises to bring a lot of terribly difficult things. A wise friend taught me that “there is no way but through.” That is what I am going to have to do: endure.
A couple of thoughts on toughness. Tough enough to stand your ground, not cave or ignore what you feel is right and just, but also tough enough to move forward into new, possibly uncomfortable territory.
Thank you for another thought provoking article. So far, my WOTY is “accomplish”. I have spent the first two years of my retirement wandering around sort of lost. Now is the time to get some things done!
I have chosen the word nourishment for my word of the year. I like that it touches many spheres of my life: physical, emotional, spiritual and supports my passions for baking and eating!
I thought about my WOTY for a long time and finally settled on Forgiveness. It’s such a powerful exercise. Mainly working on forgiving myself.
I have no word (yet?) but enjoying reading all of these. Sending energy and healing to you both Max and Felix!
My word of the year is Temperance. Not in the “dry” meaning but in the Tarot card meaning: Harmony, peace, patience and moderation. As my good friend would say, “Rise ten feet and hover.”
Quiet
I choose a theme each year and haven’t 100% settled on 2025’s yet. I am thinking it might be “quiet”. I’ve been a bit resistant to it because I’m a peg-the-meter introvert who likes people but needs *a lot* of alone time and that’s hard to fit into the culture of the U.S. Yet, “quiet” feels right as it reminds me to give myself permission to take the alone time I need. And it keeps popping up.
“Quiet” also serves as a reminder of other things:
– take time for reflection so that I can use my time on things that are meaningful to me
– be kinder to myself and quiet myself when I get upset or am being hard on myself.
– quiet my home of clutter and distractions
– enjoy the quiet people and animals in my life
– quiet myself to connect with people I disagree with so that I keep the avenues of communication open
If the years ahead are as shrill as I think they may be, I’m going to need more quiet than ever.
My word is Movement. I want to take action to keep my body fit, strong and flexible, and I want to act on my goals instead of just talking about them.
My word should be WALK. I have really doubled down on walking in recent years and I feel like WALK IS LIFE.
My WOTY is “wonder”
Mine is “connect.” Toward the end of 2024 I was able to get back in touch with several old friends with whom I’d lost connection, only to find out that a couple have had some serious life changes. I’ve made plans to see them all again in 2025 and make new connections built on our shared histories. Lots to look forward to!
My word is calm. I realized how much better I felt recently when I let go of some stress and worry.
Toughness is absolutely aspirational!
Thanks.
Honestly I love and admire toughness—and I’m also tired of having to be tough. This is similar to my distaste for the word resilient ever since long ago when my five year old was gravely ill and people kept chirping “kids are so resilient” at me. (They 100 percent meant well and I’m not mad about it. It just was hard to hear in that moment.)
I can never choose a word of the year from all the excellent available words, but REALITY is a touchstone for me. Sometimes I am almost precipitous in wanting to know the worst, give it to me straight, etc. But I really crave knowing the true facts and I think it’s a necessary starting point for hope and optimism.
My WOTY is “breathe”. Just breathe. Stop the worry and the crazy and breathe. To breathe is to be alive.
Move more!!!
Hmm, I have been using resilient a lot, because the last couple of years have knocked me back. But I am tired of feeling like a Weeble (which “wobble but they don’t fall down” – google it if you are too young to remember them).
I have decided on Bravery. I am tired of having to be strong and resilient, but I want to be brave and honest – to just let the cracks show and stop worrying about the opinions of others.
Gift. I thought of this as a reminder to be grateful. Grateful is an overused word for me. It also sounds situational, useful for a one time event. Gift on the other hand reminds me that gratitude can be evoked. Gift offers a give and receive option. I can be kind and the person to whom I am kind can be grateful. And vice versa.
I do like the RAGE and DOUBT WOTYs. Mine will be SKEPTICAL. Thanks in large part to the Internet and the collapse of mainstream media I have lost a large measure of trust in the world and am now living in a former democracy. Being skeptical is a form of self care and self defense. I now look at news the way a starving person would examine every scrap of food in a trashcan for its edibility. I know that sounds negative but it’s also a form of self preservation.
My word of the year is Memories- what are they really? What do we do with them? How do I deal with all of the stuff of memory? All the pictures, saved clippings, tickets, mementos?? At 70, all of this suddenly has a very urgent resonance for me.
Love you Max. Stumbled upon you through MDK – a real soul sister!
My word this year was originally “centered”. When we did this around the table on New Year’s Eve, though, my daughter-in-law thought I said SELF-centered. She was surprised by my choice — and totally supported me. I corrected her and we had a good laugh, but there followed a nice conversation about how the term can be taken several ways and that centering is indeed something we need to do for our selves. “Self-centered” it is!
This year my “words” are We’ll See or an ellipsis a simple … my reason is I’m leaving my negative thoughts and preconceived endings and opening to the fact that we just don’t know the future and that keeps me hopeful and grounded.
My word of the year is rambunctious. It defines my attitude about life these days, my gardening style (some veggies but a lot of natives and unusual combinations), plus my approach to a yarn diet-with-lots-of-stash to use…will start re-thinking some of those yarn/pattern combinations lolling around in my stash!
My word of the year? Persevere.
Yes, last year was difficult and frustrating in several respects. In November I came across Dave Ramsey’s “baby steps” and have begun to remodel my financial house of cards into a Wise Little Pig house, one brick at a time.
Thank you, Max, for inspiring me to choose a WOTY. I believe it will serve me well.
My word is ADJUST. When I was a teen I was gifted the opportunity to spend three summers at Camp Miniwanca in Michigan. One of the camp slogans was “It’s a mark of leadership to adjust”. I have hung on to this for all my life in many situations. I believe there will be a lot of adjusting to do this year and the following ones. ADJUST helps me to remember I’m making the decisions about my life as best I can.
WOTY- Trust
I have to believe that this world somehow will be OK even though I am very scared about where we are headed.
My word of the year is “Release”.
I like the multiple meanings that I can apply.
I can release fear, worry, ideas that don’t serve me or actual “things”… I could go on and on, but you get the idea.
Compassion
I’m vacillating between the word steady and the word sturdy. They both resonate with me as this is my 88 year and I’m finding it a challenge to live in this world at this age. I am often knocked off a little bit by the way I’m treated by not just the greater society but also by my loved ones. I’m sure they are as confused as I am about what it means to live this long in this world. So steady she goes. Yes I think that’s it although I’m also under lying that by being as sturdy as I can.
I have just read through the comments here. What a wonderful and inspiring conversation, thank you everyone! RAGE really spoke to me. I live in a different country but here, too, our current administration are doing things that I find absolutely enraging. In the first week of January I was looking at a particular legislative proposal in depth and found myself spiralling downwards in despair, feeling very helpless and overwhelmed. The next day a couple of poems popped up on my FB page both of which helped lift my spirits a bit and sent my thoughts moving in a different direction – at the end of which the word HOPE was playing through my mind. So I chose it for my 2025 WOTY and I’ve been astonished at how powerful it is proving already, in a way that previous years’ WOTY were not. Our government is providing an endless choice of things that warrant despair but rather than being overwhelmed and feeling helpless I can say to myself “HOPE” and it lifts me immediately. For me it’s the other side of the rage coin – it allows me to feel the rage and to use it to fuel action, while not being overwhelmed by it.
My word: DIN i.e., “DoItNow” I tend to procrastinate and it’s a habit I want to get past.B
Ah. And I might have missed the kindred spirit messages that started at 5:33 am yesterday if I hadn’t scrolled carefully! I feel so lucky to be a part of a community of knitters who have open eyes, courage, commitment to the important ideals of democracy, and who never stop trying to speak the truth, even in the face of a vast plan to erase so much we have been proud of in our country. We speak truth to ignorance, racism, misogyny, climate denying, and so many other topics. We understand the efforts to use trigger subjects to sway the emotions of those not inclined to take a deep dive to learn more, and discover the truth. We are an educated bunch, and it makes me proud to be one of them. RAGE when needed, knitters. Speak up even when it’s uncomfortable to do so.
Not one to limit myself when needed, my 3 words are SPEAK THE TRUTH.
My word is Glimmers “tiny, seemingly insignificant moments when you feel a sense of joy, pleasure, peace and gratitude”.
We’re hard-wired to find Triggers; they are about survival.
But the Glimmers are also important to survival and can easily be lost. They are our sense of community, sharing, joy in unexpected places, calm. They help provide hope in the middle of challenging times.
I have read the many posts about “rage”. There is a place for rage in your life and I have experienced it in my life. One of the things I learned while in that place was that rage has to be accompanied by caring. Otherwise it isn’t productive. I will be 85 this year and am still active despite two rounds of cancer and a recent diagnosis of Parkinson’s. This year my words are taken from the Book of Joshua…Be Strong and Be Courageous. Strength and Courage, timely words for me…no rage, just Courage.
Self-care
Beautiful. I started using it as a meditation word/tool/mantra in order to combat self-criticism. The ability to do this is a radical & postitive shift for me.