Beyond Knitting
Self-care Express: Decide Once and Dither Not
Hello friends! A quick and very practical one this month for any recurring problem. Ready? Solve the problem once, and use the same solution next time. Also the time after that. Forever.
Use this almost insultingly simple method to lift some of that cognitive load off yourself. Then use the resulting freedom any way you want—hopefully on something you find delightful.
You may already be all over this. I sure thought I was! And then I missed a chance to send my sister and brother-in-law a really beautiful anniversary card because: indecision.
I will spare you the saga; it would take binders full of dithering and missed opportunities. So I decided on a lightweight system to make it stop. Now I’m just buying all the cards and presents I need for the coming month before the old month is out, and line ‘em up to send. (I mean: I just started this. But so far it’s a great success.)
Again, nothing fancy and you might already do this! In which case, spill your secrets in the comments below. But in case you could use some ideas for areas to stop unproductive thinking, here are a few of mine that I find especially effective:
Same breakfast: every day, yogurt with extra protein powder, granola, dried or frozen fruit. 30 grams of protein, just like that! Because good enough.
Imperfect skin care: turns out consistency is pretty important where skin is concerned. I took my derm’s recommendation, I bought their (probably) overpriced system, the subscription ships to my door right before I run out. Tell you what: this stuff is not beautiful. One of the items smells like something you’d scrub your kitchen with. Don’t care! It’s decided.
The gym: You knew I had to tell you about this. My friends, I go to the gym four days a week. When I started, I did not love it. Don’t most people just work out twice a month? Gah. It took over a year for me to start liking this schedule. But I didn’t discuss amongst myself, I just decided once and put my shoes on 1,000 times.
What about you? Are there places in life where you could just decide once how to do something and never dither again?
I suggest you make a list but, going with our theme, don’t think too much about it. Let your frustrations reveal themselves to you, make a good enough choice, and don’t revisit unless you’re worse off than before.
The metric for improvement is improvement! That’s all we’re looking for—not perfection.
Hit me with your smarts, friends! In the comments below, we would love to hear about decisions you’ve made for good. Let there be more knitting time for everyone.
Image above: Portrait of a Woman, Jean Léon Gérôme, 1851, Art Institute of Chicago. Used with permission. Cropped.
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I love this advice (and all your columns). My decide-don’t-dither success is in running — I run (now that I’m sixty+ it might look more like a jog/walk) 5+ days a week and one of the best things for keeping it going has been putting my clothes for running out the night before — their waiting for me in the bathroom, so I don’t wake up my partner when I get up early and I can’t miss them! Similarly, for making challah on a Friday mornings, I put the flour, honey, salt, eggs, butter, yeast and mixing bowls/measuring cups on the counter on Thursday night so I see them when I get my coffee first thing. And to NOT do something, I have moved sweet treats to dark corners of the pantry where I don’t see them and physically have to go hunting to indulge (which I still do, but now with a little more intention). I love your birthday card idea, and will try that (today is my amazing sister’s birthday and card still hasn’t been sent).
I arise my workout clothes are already layed out. Contacts in. A smear of face cream and a swab of lip balm. Tip toe from bedroom so as to not awaken our dog or my husband it is early. 4 am. Coffee on. I am seated at my table with my Bible and my daily devotional. I love this. My knitting project gets 15-20 minutes as it awaits me at the table. This is intentional as well self care. The dog care follows. The daily breakfast for my husband is made. Then my daily walk . 4-6 miles as daily needs vary. Outside awaits me to listen to various podcasts of my faith and some knitting content. Routine and practice mixed with giving to my beloved Husband and Dog fills me with all the happy.
Many years ago a dietician recommend eating oatmeal in the morning, with some enhancement for taste, to help with cholesterol. To encourage myself, once a week I measure out servings of oatmeal adding cinnamon, dried cranberries & walnut bits into small containers. Easy to grab, add water & microwave halfway, then I walk the dog or do some stretching, finish up the cooking and add fresh or frozen blueberries, a little honey. Quick, healthy, easy to fix breakfast with little morning fuss and no need for milk (for me, anyway).
Routine, schedule, continuity = simplicity – which allows you to be creative.
It’s like a stable marriage – you’re not always happy with it but if it generally works it provides you with so many freedoms.
I wash the throw rugs on the 1st of the month.
I just couldn’t stop laughing! It came up perfectly.
Talk about right place, right time. I have desperately been needing a kick in the whatsit to keep going to swim 4 times a week. Thank you.
I began a capsule wardrobe for work, which simplifies what to buy (especially re. colors) and what to wear. I have a small stash of blank cards and try to use these as much as possible.
Every morning I sit in bed, drink coffee, and read the Times, MDK, and Ravelry—whether I want to or not.
Haha! Me too, after feeding dogs and cat. It’s nice being retired.
Perfect start
GENIUS! You made me laugh 🙂
Perfect start
And I thought it was just me!
ADORE.
Excellent! I think I’ll try this one! Also, you made me laugh
This is brilliant! Soooo simple- yet BRILLIANT!
Great plan! I put a reminder in my online calendar one week before each birthday so that I know when I have to mail out cards. But it’s an inexact science.
When a task seems overwhelming, give yourself permission to only do part of it. Break it into pieces. Organize it so there are reasonable parts. Sometimes when I do this, I even finish the job in one go. The important thing is to start.
Starting is the hardest! I used to set a timer for chores I hated and would tell myself I would stop when the timer went off. I almost always just finished the chore.
A few years ago, I came up with a breakfast cookie recipe containing oatmeal, whole wheat flour, flaxmeal, walnuts, and dried blueberries, eggs. With a glass of skim milk, I’m starting off the day with soluble and insoluble fibers, omega 3, protein, and antioxidants. That’s my go to every morning so no thinking involved!
Ooooh, may we have your recipe?
Every January I buy birthday cards for all my grandkids. As soon as I get home I fill them out, include a check, and add the address and stamp. On my calendar, I’ve marked when each one needs to be mailed. I haven’t missed a birthday yet!
Another help is a partner. I walk every morning with my husband because I don’t want him going by himself. Probably he thinks the same for me: doing it for the sake of another. But it gets us out of the house.
This is such good advice and a timely motivation booster.
Lately I decided that each morning I will go outside and do some kind of gardening, followed by putting a wash, however small, in the washer. If errands allow, yoga at 10!
I get to feel good about myself for the whole rest of the day!
One week down and determined to keep on!
Regarding birthday cards (anniversary, sympathy, Thinking of You, Get Well) just send ‘em. Even if they are late, still send. And, don’t spend time, space and ink apologizing for “being late.” Tell wishes, news, then send. If late, pretend it’s the post office’s fault. If you don’t have a card, use a scrap of paper, or the front of a previous card. Or send a postcard (postage is also less). Because, who doesn’t like to receive personal mail, for any reason, at any time ? ? ? Just send!
Many years ago, I read about “decision fatigue”. Basically, we have to make so many decisions during the day, that by the end of it we’re tired of deciding and make bad decisions (popcorn and chocolate for dinner anyone?). Not being a morning person means I’m not awake enough to make decisions on the fly. So before bed every night, I lay out my clothes for the next day, my breakfast alternates between oatmeal with fruit or yogurt with fruit and granola, and lunch always includes an apple and whatever leftovers are available. Thankfully my husband makes dinner (he works from home since the pandemic) and I’ve finally trained him to NOT ask me in the morning what I want for dinner that evening, I will gratefully eat whatever he makes. At work is where my decision making skills are put to the test! Routine is comforting, dependable, reliable. But sometimes it gets boring and I need something different, and I plan a small adventure to get out of my comfort zone. As for cards, I prefer to buy art cards from local artists, especially on my travels. They usually cost the same or less than those store bought ones.
If you can think ahead about meals or form a routine about daily tasks, then you can read and knit without guilt or any other pleasurable activity.
I’ve been thinking about routines lately, and their usefulness. Though a lot of “have-to’s” and appointments dot my calendar, certain things are big motivators. Laying out the clothes for next day is a help, even earrings. Taking a shower first thing means I don’t waste time later planning when’s the best time. Lots more items on my list. When I follow my a.m. routine, I find that I remember to take my morning meds. Seems the flow of it kicks in like a reminder.
My birthday is today. I’ll count all of this good advice as a card from you. See how prepared you were?