Beyond Knitting
Precious Ordinary Days


My family has had a sad spring this year because my young sister-in-law died of cancer.
We will all lose people we love—and journaling can help us honor and celebrate our time with them.
The most practical thing I’ve been able to do for my brother is help him turn his journal from his last holiday with his wife and son into a printed book. The process has provided deep solace. His journal is such a warm and affectionate portrait of the most precious thing we have: ordinary days spent with one another.
Different forms, styles, and approaches
I adore seeing how other people journal. The more journals I see, the more I feel that the only right way to keep a journal is the one that works for you.
It needs to be doable and fit in with your neurotype, your personality, your skillset. Also, it needs to feel fun and rewarding or how will the habit ever stick?
But maybe the best thing you can bring to journaling is certainty that the little things are worth recording; that you have something to say; that our moments on this planet really matter.
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A birthday in my journal; I love dots and this collage features all the spotty wrapping paper and washi tape I received that year
When my brother was in Japan, he sat down with his laptop each evening and recounted the day’s events in exuberant, detailed prose—meals eaten; different kinds of Japanese transport; the consternation and the love involved in parenting my young nephew. The daily writing was a way to embrace traveling slowly with a partner who needed lots of rest—and a way to make the most of that, as well.
When I was in Japan with my husband Mark for our honeymoon eight years ago, I recorded our trip in my own way.
I daubed the pages of my KNITSONIK Journal with all the eki stamps I could find (these are special collectible rubber stamps that can be found at every train station and tourist attraction). I scribbled notes about sounds I recorded. On one page there is a vague outline for how to recreate an amazing Japanese dish we ate with friends.
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Sounds and eki stamps from our honeymoon in Japan
A journal doesn’t have to be grandiose to be rich and meaningful.
My sister-in-law loved my brother’s journal and everything it captured, commenting that if we don’t write things down, we forget them. Whether you fill it with long descriptions or stamps and lists and watercolors, what makes a journal comforting is the way it cherishes and holds the soft little pieces of our lives.
Journaling activities to help with loss
When our cat Frida died last year, it helped me so much to sit down and print out photos on my sticker-printer. I organized them sequentially and used them to mark out stages of our year with her.
The list commemorates her never-ending search for the best sunbeam. Her joy at rolling on our new velvet sofas and smothering them in fur. When she forgot to put her tongue away after grooming herself. You might say this is every cat.
But in my journal, this is the story of the one and only Frida.
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Some of Frida’s silly, special moments
Inspiration and ideas
If you are a writer who likes recording things in a wordy way, Georges Perec’s Species of Spaces and Other Pieces is full of ideas for celebrating daily life through language. As well as a list of everything Georges ate and drank in a year, it contains an impassioned rant about the need for us to write more about the mundane and “common things.”
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Georges Perec, Species of Spaces and Other Pieces and Josie George, A Still Life—treasured, affirming books
Josie George’s beautiful memoir A Still Life reveals how we can use writing to draw us into more deeply noticing and celebrating our everyday lives by being curious and paying attention. It shows you how to look at the world anew, with raw curiosity and love.
Like my brother’s journal, it speaks to what we can learn to see and appreciate when disability and illness force us to move more slowly through the world.
If you like recording things in a more visual or tactile way, The Art of Memory Making by Martina Calvi is a really inspiring practical guide to creating journals (also memory boxes and other forms) using ephemera, collage, and scrapbooking. In the book’s introduction, she writes “the more we romanticize these little moments in our daily lives, the more we start to see the beauty in them.”
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Martina Calvi, The Art of Memory Collecting
Between words and ephemera lie a thousand other ways to celebrate your time on earth. Nothing is too small or silly to go into your journal. It doesn’t have to be fancy. It might be messy or sporadic.
But do, if you can, find a way to record the ordinary days spent here: in the end, they are what matter most.
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Dear Felix, I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you so much for the book recommendations. I’m rereading The Life of Stuff by Susannah Walker. The author searches for the story of her mother through her possessions. These journals are a beautiful way to record family stories, thank you!
Ooh that book sounds wonderful – YES the life of stuff.
Thanks for your kindness, and hurrah for recording family stories x
❤️ this!
I confess, I am a sometimes/occassional journaler. I’ve tended to start journaling at times in my life when I’m doing something big; my trip to Africa with a research team, starting grad school on the opposite side of the continent WHILE newly dating a USN F-18 fighter pilot (grad school lasted, he did not), my trip to Antarctica with an Architectural planning team. spending my first stretch of time alone at our family cottage in the Canadian Near North (we’re talking truly isolated, off off grid & at least 2 hours minimum from any emergency assistance).
I can tell you that, indeed, absolutely, 100% true that the smallest details I wrote about, that I would not recall if not for the ink on paper, are the bits I’m most excited to revisit! I think it says that I’m a journalist at heart, but life has always found ways to intrude before I made it all the way to cementing the habit. There are always days in every life where exhaustion wins over any motivation…
Thank you, Dear Felix, for reminding us of the imprtance of small everyday moments!
Absolutely, yes – there are times when exhaustion trumps motivation, for sure.
I love how your big trips have served as a focus for journaling… but how it’s the little things you love to look back on.
The small everyday moments are everything x
So true about recording the details not just for yourself but the next generations. I have no journals from my grandparents or parents and would have liked to know what it was like in Europe during WWII. It’s a generational loss of history.
As always, Felix comforts and inspires me. When I was first introduced to her approach to journaling, I felt free. For years I’d wanted to learn how to do “bullet journaling “ but couldn’t . Felix’s approach helped me realize that my non-linear brain wanted a more flexible and creative approach. Hooray! I found a way to joyfully journal!
Hi Barbara! I’m so happy you’ve been able to journal joyfully – that’s my favourite thing to hear. Thanks for always being so warm and kind about my work x
Thank you so much for this post. My husband died last June and the most healing thing I did was to make a slide show and narrative about our lives together. Each photo I found was depicting the ordinary little celebrations of daily life. I plan to continue to find my way journaling as a way of remembering and celebrating.
Martha, I’m so sorry for your loss.
Your slide show and narrative about your life with your late husband sound like beautiful and comforting things to have made. How lovely to focus on the ordinary little celebrations of daily life; I hope the words and pictures you have put together bring you solace and can be your comfort blanket of memory whenever you need that.
❤️
I so needed this. Thanks for affirming the importance of journaling and that our moments on this planet truly matter. It’s not just for us but also for those around us to actually glimpse a bit about our lives no matter how mundane. I was in Orkney, Scotland recently and visited Skara Brae and how I wish there was something written down that gave a clue to their language, customs and daily life.
“the soft little pieces of our lives”—what a lovely phrase. Thank you for that.
Dear Felix, This all resonates so deeply—the idea of a journal as a place to remember those who are no longer with us, beautiful.
The reason my latest journal has become such a habit? I asked myself to write something each day, as little as one sentence. At first (in 2022) there were often days of one sentence. Now, after almost three years of daily entries, I’ve tapped into my love of writing, and the day may one sentence or, more often, pages long. Handwriting has freed me to write more slowly. And the game of looking back at an entry a year ago reminds me of how much we pack into our lives without noticing.
“The journal as a place to remember those who are no longer with us” – last week I took great solace in thumbing through an old journal from 2017 and finding a page in which my sister-in-law had neatly organised and labelled some woollen yarns during an activity that was a part of my hen-do. And another from 2023, during which we planned out an easter egg hunt for all our nieces and nephews – and her son. They’re just little messy scribbles that remind me of times we sat down side by side and did things together – so precious.
I love your story of how starting with such an achievable goal – as little as one sentence per day – has quickly escalated into something bigger. I often think that when we start small and doable, we are so much more likely to succeed than if we kill the emergent idea with ambition and perfectionism. I’m so happy you are getting so much out of your journaling and finding details and joy in looking back to old entries.
Thinking about how my journal can be more fun and rewarding. Thank you.
Fun and rewarding for the win! nobody needs another chore to do x
I’ve journaled for 40 years now. It started when my doctor suggested I record my PMS symptoms and it grew from there. I wish I knew how to send a pic, they are as thick as they are tall.
What a beautiful, heartfelt letter. Thank you Felix.
Thanks Jan x
Such a beautiful piece. It’s the ordinary routine of daily life that binds all the big moments together.
Thank you for reading and your kind words. Hurrah for the ordinary routine of daily life x
This could not have been more timely, Felix….I had the urge the other day to write a few lines in my journal about where I was in life right now….as I just turned 68….but the urge passed…LOL….You reminded me that it’s important…..so sorry for your loss
Colleen, congrats on turning 68 and definitely if you can find a way to write down where you’re at – even just some scribbled notes, plus a few scraps of wrapping paper or your favourite cards stuck in x future you will be so happy to find these notes one day x
My lovely mother-in-law kept a diary/journal and when she died we got to read it. It was filled with the most ordinary things. A new dress, how much butter cost (in 1948) and yet I felt it to be very compelling and very comforting. How powerful our thoughts are. Felix is so right. We should write them down.
How lovely to have that record of your mother-in-law’s life and the everyday things that filled it.
Longtime lurker here- several years ago I discovered Felix’s suggestions about journaling and found it so freeing. I keep a monthly visual journal- a calendar grid with little blank boxes, and for every day I draw/paint/color in an image from that day- it ends up being a colorful, chaotic record for the month. It makes me slow down and think about each day, what small moments stood out, what I want to remember from that day. It’s both very grounding and quite soothing amid the chaos of the wider world. Thankyou, Felix, for your presence out in this wider world, so that I could get gentle encouragement to do what felt right for me.
Your monthly visual journal sounds wonderful – I can imagine that the selective edit of “what shall I paint/draw/colour today” is, in itself, a really important check-point for you each day – a moment of grounding and reflection that brings peace and gratitude, however noisy and loud the world feels. I think there’s also agency isn’t there, in knowing we can choose what to focus on – what to love, cherish and record.
And at the end… the beautiful visual record of your month! I love that. And best of all I love that it’s working for you <3
What a good way for you and your dear brother to spend time together.
From your devoted fan in California.
p.s. Glad to be reminded of how wonderful Species of Spaces is.
Laying out the journal was honestly such a wonderful way to get to know all the details of the family holiday – it was a way to be closer, through my brother’s wonderful storytelling and journaling.
I love the phrase “ what makes a journal comforting is the way it cherishes and holds the soft little pieces of our lives”!
Thank for that thought Felix!
Felix, you are always an inspiration. I’m sorry for your family’s loss. The book you are helping your brother make is a lovely gift.
Thank you so much, I certainly hope so x
I loved this article – thank you. I have tried using polar steps to organise photos – you can also write on the app but I haven’t really enjoyed it. Reading this made me remember I love paper, pen, collecting and sticking. The process has to fit your type is excellent advice. Now to find a good sticker printer – if you can say which one you use that would be great
“The process has to fit your type” is everything! I tried the OG bullet journaling method years ago and stopped immediately because it didn’t fit with how my brain works. It’s so important to find ways of recording life that feel doable and joyous and fun.
I use a paperang printer – it’s a little thermal one. The website from which I originally bought it in 2020 is long gone, but if you search for paperang P1 mini-printer and then search for thermal sticker paper that will work – I use the search term “Thermal Printer Sticker Paper Rolls 2 1/4″ 57*30mm For Paperang P1” and find all my sticker paper that way. I hope that helps.
Dear Felix. Thanks so much for your tireless work to finish the Japan journal ready for Wednesday. You have done such a beautiful job with it with so much attention to detail. I’m so grateful. It will be treasured item to help Barney and I remember our trip to Japan and our last family holiday with Mel.
Ah it was my absolute pleasure and an honour x
I am so sorry for your loss. I have also been using journalling to navigate extraordinary losses (my sister, and both parents, within a year). In addition to missing those people, I am also aware of the family stories and memories that are now irretrievable. I have decided to create journals for each of my nieces and nephews. I plan to include as much as I can remember of our family history, along with personal memories of my time with each of them. And if I can make it artful and pretty at the same time, I will consider it a bonus.
Pamela I’m so sorry – that is a heartbreaking amount of loss in a short space of time. The journals for nieces and nephews sound like a wonderful gift, and a way to preserve the irretrievable stories and memories so they are not lost.
I have found it helpful to go through all my old photos of Mel and to make lists of my memories… with the idea that I can elaborate on these when I want to write about any of them in more depth in the future.
Is there anything that could really support you in the journaling process? Stationery supplies that would bring you joy, stickers and washi tape, stamps – anything that will make you smile as you do this loving work of remembering and grieving? I wish you so much gentleness with this work and am so sorry for your losses x
Oh, Pamela…so many losses. Your project will be a guiding star and great gift to your family. I have you tucked up under my heart…
I keep a journal of 5 lines a day. I am in my 15th year. It is not beautiful and elaborate, but tells about my day, people I love and sometimes I am angry at. Love of my world but also my frustration. Big moments and small. Travels and what I have seen, shared, eaten and experienced. I will keep journaling my 5 lines a day every night just like brushing my teeth. Will my children and grandchildren read them? I don’t know, but the lines are important to me and that is what matters.
What an amazing discipline and a way also to make all the everything of life digestible and doable! I love your edit of every day down into just five lines. What an amazing portrait, over time.
Like BCE, I’m presently (11 years now) using a 5-lines a day journal each evening. Reading back on entries, I see patterns that were obscured by day-to-day activities. E.g. many times frustration evoked thoughts of early retirement. The grief building from anticipated deaths of very old parents and a friend with cancer enabled me to deal with it proactively. And smaller things: “can’t believe that it’s only been a year since….”
Over the years, I’ve kept journals in other formats and for other purposes. I have lots of pictures + some words for trips and adventures, words only for a move to the Yukon in northern Canada in 1971 (when cameras were clunkier and the film froze in winter!) Postcards glued in when professional shots could include so much more.
My parents died at 97 and 102 years. I’ve recently realized that I carry stories that neither of my younger siblings know. So I’m on the verge of writing them along with the old B&W photos.
I’m just loving this 5-lines a day journal each evening – what a wonderful record that must be, especially over 11 years. It’s just enough of a balance of brevity and space to write that I’m sure – just as you say – themes and patterns emerge over time.
What precious mementos your journals from trips and adventures must be!
Do write down the stories of your long-lived parents – how wonderful that they lived so long, and what a store of memories you must have.
Thank you for your beautiful and comforting words. I love one of your expressions, that a journal “cherishes and holds the soft little pieces of our lives.” Right now I am about to retire from teaching. I started adding little notes and stickers students have given me and I have been taking photos with kids with a plan to print them with my small sticker printer and put them in my journal. These keepsakes and notes will be missing with my to-do lists and planning notes, but I feel that will work because all of these moments are happening at the same time. Thanks so much for affirming that.
“Soft little pieces of our lives” seems to have really resonated – I’m so glad for that.
I love the sound of how your retirement from teaching is showing up in your journal – and of how these keepsakes and notes are all bundled along beside the to-do lists and planning notes – yes, this is what our lives are like. Everyone is different but, like you, I like when our journals reflect the mess and blurriness of how all the parts of our lives jostle along together.
What a lovely keepsake you are making for when you are retired. I hope these stickers and notes and photos will bring you much solace when you are navigating the next part of your life x