Atlas Insider: The Yarny Express
Well, here we are in the aftermath of a holiday weekend sale and it always surprises me that the absolute disaster that’s the usual result of that at MDK World Headquarters manages to right itself so quickly. Things get put back up, trash gets bagged and put in the appropriate container, three thousand coffees get quaffed and hundreds of packages get picked up by the trusty USPS.
About that last: yes, I said “trusty.”
We love the USPS here—almost all of our packages go out in their care, and despite the extremely occasional wrong turn a package might take (hellllooo, Dubrovnik! which, as far as I can tell is not really very near Enid, Oklahoma), the percentage of packages that actually disappear forever is so infinitesimal that that number doesn’t even register as a wedge on the pie chart—if I were the type who made pie charts involving keeping up with such things. Spoiler: I am not that type, though we can talk about pie all you want. Team chess!
It’s been a difficult year for the USPS, and I’m always impressed by the equanimity our multiple mail carriers show on a daily basis. The regular pickup folks usually come twice a day and they put up with a lot from us. “Wait! Can you hang on while we print and apply ONE HUNDRED AND NINE LABELS?”
“Sure,” they say, and from outer space you can hear the sound of them rolling their eyes. And then they wait for us to do it, even though I feel fairly sure they aren’t supposed to. Then they come again two hours later and we’re still making them wait for some dumb thing we forgot to do.
I really do think it takes a particular type of person to do our pickups. Mainly someone who won’t call us “hot messes” to our faces, but you know … I’ll take it.
We used to have a different pickup guy; he was animated and chitchatty and revealed one day that he and his wife made and sold elaborate costumes for Renaissance Faires and whatnot. I went and looked at his online shop and, hmmm, well, color me surprised that there was a whole division of what can only be called “Miss Kitty from Dodge City’s Loungewear Collection,” but what do I know about Old West cosplay? For all I know, it’s sweeping the nation.
Anyway, he’s not our pickup person any longer; I guess the market for saloonwear really exploded and took him away from us. So now we’ve got good old reliable Chris and Eddie, who as far as I know do not have a side gig devoted to cowgirl nightgowns.
Wait, what am I going on about? We are a loooong way from USPS-admiration now. But I’ll circle back, don’t worry.
Your packages leave here every day in dependable hands and sometimes a couple of days after one leaves, I’ll randomly click on a tracking number and I always always always experience a little thrill when it says “Delivered.” We really shouldn’t take the USPS for granted; it still feels like a miracle to me that something can get from here to wherever (hello, Dubrovnik!) so quickly via the good old Pony Express.
OH WAIT! The Pony Express! Now the Wild West peignoirs make PERFECT SENSE!
In the USPS appreciation spirit, here’s a little giveaway.
The prize? A Freia Shawl Ball in Canyon—whether or not it has to travel through a canyon on its way to you from MDK World Headquarters. (Ravines, gullies, highways, byways: also acceptable.)
How to enter? Two steps:
Step 1: Sign up for our weekly newsletter, Snippets, right here. If you’re already subscribed, you’re set.
Step 2: Leave a comment below with the most unusual thing the USPS ever delivered to you. Feel free to make it up—all in good fun and to keep us guessing.
Deadline for entries: Sunday, June 13, 11:59 PM Central time. We’ll draw a random winner from the entries. Winner will be notified by email.
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