Atlas Insider: Wound Up
Each new year brings a brand new crop of email in-box questions from brand-new MDK Field Guide subscribers. Most of them are about shipping and most of those are all already answered on our Returns & Shipping Policies page, of course, but we answer them again anyway! It’s a challenge to not make them sound like pre-written copy-and-paste answers (which, surprise!, they mostly are, since we answer them all the time), but we give it a shot anyway.
With those new subscribers comes a wave of first time orders as well (yay! and thank you!), and by far the most common question associated with those orders is “will you please wind my yarn?” Well, no, we will not.
Ann and Kay are on record as inveterate and devoted hand-winders. I split it up, using an upright oak squirrel swift my dad made for some commercial yarns and hand-winding the more rustic ones or yarns that are new to me. Hand winding gives me a chance to familiarize myself with the personality of the yarn and deal with any knots (three cheers for spit splicing!) before they crop up in the middle of a stitch.
In any event, I can’t imagine who on earth we could get in here to wind yarn for customer orders. We can barely find someone to go get the very important sweet cream flavored Chobani coffee-creamer and I assure you: that matters waaaaay more. I’m trying to imagine the employment ad Ann and Kay would have to place for the position of yarn-winder. “Wanted: eager beaver with enormous biceps, willing to forever lose the use of both arms. Occasional tacos.”
We ship hundreds of skeins of yarn per day. The scale of that precludes a regular human—even an eager beaverish, enormously bicepped one—from being able to get it done, even if we charged for it. My sister once owned a mobile yarn shop and whenever I accompanied her on longer trips, I got drafted to be the yarn winder (cost to my sister: six empanadas from the Salvadoran food truck). By empanada time each day, my arms were numb and I was barely able to form my fingers into any of the many many gestures I use them for, but mainly just the one. YOU KNOW THE ONE.
And look, I know. You’re all thinking, “Ugh, I hate to wind yarn.” But it’s all part of the hobby, like weavers have to warp their looms and joggers have to, I dunno, tie their shoes or whatever. I mean: I love Thai food above all other cuisines but I sure hate to do all the prep when I make it at home. I made homemade pad thai three years ago and I am STILL finding chopped peanuts in the odd nooks and crannies of my kitchen. But I DO the prep because if I DIDN’T, I’d have just a HOT BOWL OF STEAM for dinner.
Do the prep. Wind the yarn. It’ll be great for your biceps.
TL;DR: we don’t wind yarn, sorry.
(Editor’s note: the yarns featured in Field Guide No. 26: Moss are pre-balled for your convenience.)