Introducing: Ask Patty

October 19, 2018

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  • How completely relatable and utterly fantastic! (Chickens in sweaters, indeed!) I predict that this is going to become a favorite feature of mine…

    • The practice of chicken sweaters began in the UK to keep rescued hens warm and not pecked by other chickens. You may not know but chickens are mean little beasties that pull feathers out of each other and pick their flesh to the bone. In rehabilitation centers sweaters are used to warm the featherless victims and give the bullies something to victimize rather than tearing flesh.

    • Oh, mercy…..if someone does knit a sweater for a chicken, I do hope they make it a wattle (turtle) neck. Get it? LOL!!

  • Great read. I’ve used the extra stitch BO for the jog but I seem to get a little sloppy at times. Will now do the K2 tog which I think will result in a firmer stitch. Thanks! Looking forward to more advice.

  • A friend sent me an article about a performance artist who put the yarn in her vagina, then knit it. Hahahahahahahhahahaha Nothing beats that; unless of course she was knitting sweaters for chickens.

    • AHHHHH. I can’t un see that!!! I’m shocked that I haven’t seen that article yet. Oh, wait, my phone just dinged a new email.

      • Don’t google it. Don’t try to figure out how that works. Don’t think about it ever again.

        • Thanks, too late. Can’t unthink that one!!!

      • Memo from the Editors: Patty, we encourage you not to write up the how to on this. We feel strongly that knitters need to walk their anatomical knitting explorations on their own. Thank you.

        • And a chorus of lurkers muttered “amen”

        • Noted. Agree entirely.

    • Was she knitting a pussy hat? (I couldn’t help it. Forgive me if I offended.)

      • Offended? More like LOL!!

      • Best laugh of the week!

    • Some things are better left unshared. Please!

  • Many thanks. Just making hats now!!

  • Had heard of the jogless join before but could never remember the sequence of it, so the photo with the stitch marker gave me a great visual to help me along the way. (BTW, are those Gale’s photos?) — Patty, I have seen you on TV and am really looking forward to your future columns!

  • Thank you for this! I just started a new hat last night, and now I know how to fix that unsightly join!!! Saving this…love your new column!

  • Love it!!

  • Patty – so good to read you on here! You are a day maker – a person that brings joy by just being you. (I met you in Mpls last summer at a retreat – Melissa was there, too). Keep doing what you do:).

    • Aw, thanks!

  • What a hoot! Keep it coming

  • What a wonderful addition to MDK ! I miss having the “ knitting help “ that was held every Thursday evening at my LYS. It got me through my earlier years of knitting and my second pregnancy. 30 years later, I still have questions when I’m knitting but no one to ask as my skills are more complicated than the knitter who is offering assistance.
    HURRAY ! And Thanks

  • Oh! I can’t ever get enough Patty, so this will tide me over between Kristy Glass interviews and the occasional YouTube video. Wonderful addition to the MDK team!

  • Love that you’ll be doing an Ask Patty column for MDK.

  • Love this column! Thanks for the great tips, and for the great sense of humor. Looking forward to more of your advice columns.

  • I’m saving this article now!! I know I’ll need advice and so excited to have someone to ask. Talented and funny:)

  • a new favorite!

  • I love you Patty! Your tips are so simple and so helpful! Thank you!

  • A fellow Chicagoan! But we were a Sun-Times family so I grew up reading Ann. These are wonderful tips. I am definitely saving this page and I look forward to more great advice.

  • I feel like I need to knit my chickens sweaters now. Or maybe just the banties.

    What a hoot! And I love the method for joining in the round. I’ve always cast on an extra stitch and k2tog when I join. This looks like a better way to go.

    • PS I was kidding about the chicken sweaters and now that I’ve googled it I am horrified.

  • Welcome! I love your sense of humor, and look forward to your columns.

  • Being someone who has an opinion about most things, I appreciate you Patty! No, love, embrace, cherish… I feel if you have addressed an opinion about something, I can rest. I don’t have to do it all alone!

  • I am SO EXCITED that we will have an Ask Patty column. After my exhilarating (and endless) unofficial round of Ask Patty questions during happy hour at TNNA, this makes me very happy.

  • This is great, you have solved two of the first questions that sprang to mind when I started reading in the first article! Thank you, so enjoyed this.

  • Thanks for the tips-I’ll use the ‘extra Cast O- stitch’ next time. Currently, I used my version of weave the tail end through the first stitch- usually worked fairly neatly. I think method 1 could be done on the bind off say, with fingerless mitts…

    All I get are cat stories…or sheepdog videos.

  • What a delightful addition to an already wonderful website and newsletter. Bravo!

  • What a great addition to your cadre of columnists! And I learned something right off the bat!

  • Still snorting about vagina knitting. Patty, you are a breath of fresh air!!

  • I’ve always joined in the round by placing the last stitch in the left hand needle and crossing the first stitch onto the right hand needle. It works quite nicely as long as the stitches aren’t twisted.

    • That’s how I do it as well, and I’ve always thought it’s pretty well invisible. But I wonder if there is a noticeable visual difference? I may have to try the technique above to compare! After all if I’m going to have opinions (and I am) I might as well back them up!

  • Thank you for this tidbit advise, I need to save this one, it is hat season, and I am on my second one….what a simple solution I hope to remember for my next one!!! Amazing, and thanks for sharing…

  • Love Patty Lyons

  • What a wonderful way to start a Monday and the comments are a hoot and a holler. Patty, I never fail to learn something new from you and I’m so glad you will be writing this column. Thank you!

    • Thanks! I’m pretty excited. So many great questions coming in already!

  • Patty, I have so enjoyed your knitting classes over the years at Vogue Knitting and am so happy to see you here. Thanks for the visual on joining in the round, and thanks for your sense of humor. Looks like this will become my new favorite column.

  • Dear Patty,
    Except for the Slinky song now running thru my head (complete with images of the little Stepford kid pulling that weird Slinky wiener dog), I love your new column! I give it 2 enthusiastic thumbs up and am eagerly awaiting the next installment.
    Trying to knit with both thumbs up which is awkward for both a girl and a boy

    • Sorry for the slinky song . . . and I TOTALLY remember those weird kids!

  • So glad to see you here, you are the absolute BEST!

  • Thanks for the knitting tip on fixing the jog at the beginning of a circular project. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your column and look forward to the next installment.

  • This is great!! I’m not sure how often you will be contributing, but I hope OFTEN!

  • Glad to have another place to read Patty’s advice… I’ll be in your Spectacular Sweaters class in Minneapolis in a couple weeks – so looking forward to it!

  • has been my circular join for a while

  • Hello Patty! Thank you for the visual of how to join for knitting in the round. I could never figure out the way to do that, much appreciated. When knitting in the round I work the first two rows flat and then join in the round. It prevents all that stress of making sure your knitting is not twisted which is hard with a lot of stitches. I use long tail cast on and knitting two rows ensures the public side is facing you. And I just graft the first two rows.

  • If I get too much of a bad thing via -emails, snail mails, tweets, bleats…..I change my addy…… All of a sudden I get “no” commos…………..and wish I hadn’t…….so, I learned to ‘ignore’ more e-mails…..and ‘hate’ is a strong word……does one ‘really ‘hate __________? I mean, if it hurts when you do ________, then don’t do _______. Dr. Mom (LOL!)

  • I already love Patty but this is next level. Brava!
    FINALLY she asked the question bugging me for years : why diss the grandmas?????