Fun
Knit to This: After Life
Dear Ann,
You know how Netflix knows you better than you know yourself? That’s how I started watching After Life, a drama/comedy written by and starring Ricky Gervais. Netflix just said, here Kay, watch this, you love this sort of thing.
The scenario is one that generally gets ignored, or worse, made heroic: the aftermath of the premature death of a beloved life partner.
The pace of After Life is slow. There are many jokes, but no contrived ones. (There’s also lots of bad language and vulgarity, so be warned.)
The story takes its time. It sits on a bench, literally, and observes the passing of strange and awful emotions and sparks of laughter and even joy. Gervais is brilliant here; his talent for being irritating keeps sentimentality at bay. (But the show is also unabashedly sentimental.)
Long grief—the kind that becomes your sidekick and gets into all the nooks and crannies of daily life, is a big topic for me, and for many people. There is so much about After Life that rings true that I don’t mind that it doesn’t all chime with my experience. I’m thrilled that grief gets to be the star, that it doesn’t get rushed offstage to a cheap happy ending.
After Life is galvanizing for those who mourn, and probably most importantly for the general viewer, it’s entertaining. There are many favorite aspects of British TV: wacky eccentricity, the fun game of “in which 8 period dramas have I seen this actor before” (There’s Matthew Crawley’s mother Isobel, for example—along with pretty much every actor who has ever walked onto a soggy crime scene on Vera), the interiors of English houses and offices, the high street shops and pavements. A humanitarian German Shepherd steals every scene she’s in.
If this sounds like it might be your sort of thing, don’t miss it!
Love,
Kay
P.S. The soundtrack is right up there with one of Kermit’s. Here’s a Spotify playlist for all three seasons. It’s a Knit to This in its own right.
Complicated grief is a real challenge. I appreciate this reference very much…and just finished streaming Vera so am already in the neighborhood!
I love After Life….make sure you watch from the beginning (there are 3 seasons in all). The first two are better than the last one, I think.
The vulgarity and bad language are an integral part of it, it wouldn’t work without them, and it’s very funny. As a Brit the interiors of English houses and offices are familiar to me, but the interesting thing is how this bunch of actors/characters come together, having seen various combinations of them in many other British TV shows (not just period dramas, but TV panel quiz shows also full of bad language and vulgarity). Rick Gervais is a genius by the way (and he was friends with David Bowie – see the Bowie episode of Gervais’s “Extras”). I both laugh and cry through each episode….pick up your easy knitting project for this one – the tears in your eyes would not be conducive to anything too intricate xx
I think it’s very important to mention for those that could be sensitive to the subject, that suicide is a major theme – at least in the first two seasons.
It was for this reason, rather than the language, that I can’t recommend this otherwise brilliant programme to my knitting group. Thanks for making this point.
Kay, your description of long term grief is so right. And After Life shows it so well.
This looks so good. I wish I had Netflix. His “superpower” is great! I can relate;)
Such a good and thought-provoking series in so many ways. My husband stopped watching after the third episode because of the vulgarities. I’m so glad I continued as I find it it ever-so enriching and funny but I do winch fairly often.
Watched the first season when it came out and although hubby and I both liked it I couldn’t watch the second season when it came out. But now that I’ve experienced that kind of loss I think I’ll take another look. The fact that the first season didn’t shy away from anything makes me curious about watching the second. And Ricky Gervais and Penelope Wilton, too…
I never made it past the first episode for the same reason. I’m not above using a few choice curse words, but this show was just too much for me.
I agree with you Nancy. Some profanity is fine, but the constant use of c*** annoyed me, especially toward children.
Kay- I stumbled on this as well. No one recommended it to me – maybe Netflix knows me too? I wouldn t say my life replicates After Life… but I can still relate. Long grief is a good way to put it. Or Ambiguous Loss (like Pauline Boss wrote about) when the messiness doesn t resolve quickly and you have to learn to live with it. And make jokes and carry on. I ve looked at Ricky Gervais in a whole new light since watching this show.
I just finished this last night and concur with everything you said. I’m not crazy about how crude the language gets, but it’s true to these British characters. I boo hooed at the last episode, it was lovely.
A friend suggested this show and my husband and I have binged the first 2 seasons. He keeps commenting on how dark it is (and it is dark) but I see the slivers of light and the process of working through this long grief. It actually may be of some comfort to someone in the midst of the a similar situation or those around that person.
I’m a huge Ricky Gervais fan and he really outdid himself this show is genius it is a beautiful, sensitive ,yet funny show
Not everyone’s sense of humour
The dog was beautiful
I do love this show as well. But it sends me into terrors because I know that in all marriages, it’s going to happen to one.
Who will that One be. And I know its 50-50 that I’ll be his character and I dont want to be.
That makes me think of my favorite Jason Isbell song, “If We Were Vampires.” Sounds goofy. It’s not. It’s the world’s most realist love song—we won’t live forever, but I’m here for it all. It’s an exploration of what it means to vow “til death do us part.”
Thank you for this suggestion, Kay. My beloved husband died four years ago at age 59. To say I have struggled is an understatement. Our society is not very good at understanding/accepting long term grief. Because each union with a partner is so unique there is sometimes a lack of understanding in others of how great a loss this can be. I question the meaning of life and my purpose constantly. While pondering, I do a lot of knitting and sewing. I have also found that in doing kindnesses for others it feeds something in me that I need very much. Still, I find this a constant dance of one step forward and two steps back. My heart goes out to anyone making this journey.
Dear Sharon,
Hang in there friend.
So sad that this wonderful series has ended. It was brilliant.
I thoroughly enjoyed seasons 1 and 2. I couldn’t get through 3 because of the gratuitously filthy language. I am not a prude but it was very childish vulgarity.
I changed my mind. I decided to bite the bullet and continue watching and I’m glad I did!
I did find this season dirtier than the others, but it was because the characters were in so much pain. This season felt rawer than the others and more real in the messiness of grief and loneliness. I think it’s worth another try – the story arcs are so profound, and you ultimately see everyone’s vulnerability and humanity.
I totally agree with you Kate, such a good show and rang true in many ways for me.
Penelope Wilton!
And all you said is true.
Netflix usually recommends stuff I would never be bothered watching. The algorithm must work better for you.
To tell the truth I and fairly feed up with bad language and vulgarity Especially vulgarity. And I find it hard to imagine Gervaise’s annoying ways as anything except annoying g so I’ll give this a pass.
You never get over long-term grief, you simply learn to live with it. Well done.
It’s a wonderful show, lots of laughs and tears. We have to remember that Ricky Gervais is English and he has written it the way the English speak. They use the C-word liberally, like we may use “idiot”. Just as they use “cheers” for “thank you”. Don’t let the language deter you from viewing a beautiful look at grief and getting on with life.
Sheri, that’s not true – there’s a section of British society that do swear liberally but others that don’t at all and disapprove, and a whole spectrum in between!
I re-upped Netflix after you told us about the Fran Lebowitz series, but then I had to cancel because there wasn’t too much else. Now it looks like I’m going to have to re-up again so I can watch After Life. Luckily Netflix doesn’t mind.
I hadn’t heard about After Life until I read your recommendation on Instagram. That’s good for me so I watched a the first episode that night. As expected, your recommendation is solid. After a quick run to the market, I’m settling in this afternoon with some socks currently on needles (minimal attention required) and binge watching. Thank you!
Agree that the show is brilliant and authentic. We’ve been watching since it came out and just saw the most recent episode last night. Gervais is so goo in this role, for the reasons you said, and what a treat it was to see Penelope Wilton appear!
There’s so much good about this series but the language and much of the sexual content added nothing to the story (how many times do we have to hear about anal sex and how many times do we have to hear the word c—t. I get the point already. Move on. Love the dog.
I’m thrilled to learn about this series! Grief is a long-time companion of mine, and I won’t mind colorful language at all (it can be life-altering though. Watching Ted Lasso made the f-bomb part of my vocabulary!) Thank you for the heads up!
We’ve been watching since the first season came on — a while ago! What a great contribution Gervais has made to/for all of us. Whether we have recently lost someone or expect to in the not-to-distant future, this program is just a dandy!!
I’m so surprised at how many people were offended by the language. They are just words and that’s his way – too get people’s attention. I have watched that first season about 10 times and laugh out loud everytime. I think it is brilliant and so worth getting past your vulgar sensitivity. In the end it’s all about our reason for being here – to help others – always!
Gervais is positively superb as is the rest of the cast. I’m loving his ultimate message.
Thank you for reminding me to watch the most recent season of After Life. There is something so compelling about this uniquely English, Ricky Gervais exploration of deep grief. His ability to contrast his interior world with the rough reality of being a survivor moved me to tears more than once.
I loved it so much!
I did pass this by, but because of your recommendation I decided to give it a try and I’m really glad I did. It took a little bit to get into it and used to the “humor” but I am loving it now. And I love the music!
I don’t know how to comment on the original Snippet so dear Sarah I am just replying to you because yours is the latest comment. I adore After Life. I laugh out loud. I try to knit while watching but have the captions on so I don’t miss any British words like bollocks. I am a pancreatic and ovarian cancer survivor for 2 years so far. I am immune to the nasty language (who among us haven’t said such, xcept for that c word. Brits seem to have made it okay) anyway, thanks for the recommendation and helping me laugh through these still isolating days. Fondly, Norma Shaw
I adore ‘After Life.’ Made me really appreciate Ricky Gervais.
Thanks for the watching recommendation and the playlist. We’ve left Spotify as a result of the recent antivax controversy. Any chance you could look at Apple Music for upcoming playlists?
Yep, it’s a winner. I couldn’t stop laughing when he interviewed the women who turned 100. Then 10 minutes later I’m crying. Awesome!
Yes! I’m so glad this series exists. It’s what I’d like soap operas to be…real human drama without the clown make-up